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Today I am less tethered
to the Earth.
To
our ride home from the
airport on my return from Spain.Today I am missing a part of my soul and identity. Today one of our four is gone from his place in this world... What do I say to you to tell you how much I loved you? What words rewind time, make up for distance, and draw you closer to me? And slowly...ever so slowly this week through the pain, tears and sobs... I need not worry about drawing you out of your darkness anymore, For now you are bathed in light. I need to worry about the distance between us any more, For you are here with us all now and forever more. I need not worry about my failings or yours. I see only your freedom and peace before me. I ached for your life and the loss of your dreams to the depth of my being, And then I looked up and I saw McKenna... And Mom... Dad... Kari...Kristi... And I knew.. It is through your and your life that our dreams will come true. So I stand here today to thank you. Thank you for moments of absolute love. Things you may not have even known about, healing my pains and giving me strength. From lying in the grass at the old city hall, watching the cloud animals, To consoling my heartache and homesickness in my phone calls home for hours, To putting your arms around me on my wedding day to tell me that you cherished me, had great hope for my future, that you approved of my choice in “Al”, and that you were so happy that day too - even though I knew the moment was bitter sweet for you. In these moments, and *so many more*, there was no doubt of the depths of your soul and your good will toward all. Thank you for my cherished memories of our Big Brother & Baby Sister bond. to your brilliant laugher and wicked, quick retorts, and your whole-hearted acceptance of me and all that I am, You were so excited for me - and I felt every bit of it. Thank you. This bond of ours provides me with courage, strength, and security. Even when you choose a path of sadness, you fought to keep me from it. Your honesty and defense of us - your sisters - is something I treasure. Thank you for the lessons you learned and passed on to me.. For the courage to continue on when the road is painful, treacherous, and scary, And for the strength to keep trying again and again, You've taught me more about life than you ever knew. I hope you know now. I will miss you forever.. Until we meet again, my brother... Until we meet again. |